Inward Mindset Kills
The number one thing that kills community is your mindset. Now before we begin, I would ask that you keep an open mind and try to look at old concepts with a new perspective. The major buzz phrase around the creative community for the last three years or so is “community over competition”. The intent of this phrase was to instill a sense of wanting to help others to foster a community atmosphere among the wedding industry. Sounds great in theory, but instead of producing this sense of community, it has created the opposite in some areas, which makes me sad.
The Original Concept of Community
Originally the concept of “community over competition” was and in some cases, still is fantastic. The definition of community states that it is a “feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals.” Since all of us are in the wedding industry and want to be successful we are a “community”.
Right now you are probably saying . . . ah well duh.
Hang with me for a minute though . . I have been blessed to see how Community over Competition really works in some areas and I am so very GRATEFUL for that. However, there are cases where others have used it purely as an excuse to shame or guilt others into something because their concept of community has mutated.
The Mutated Giant
Over time, this concept of community mutated due to something called an inward mindset and it is the true cancer that kills communities and destroys the original thoughts behind “Community over Competition”. It takes a phrase that embodies an outward thinking mindset and twists it to put self first at the harm of others. YUCK!
The True Community
People have individual goals, ideas, and interests. In order to embrace these differences we must look at each person with an outward mindset (term coined by the Arbinger Institute). In an outward mindset others matter like I matter. “With an outward mindset, I am alive to others. I care about their needs, goals, and objectives.” In this mindset, I truly want other people to succeed. Some people may interpret this as to simply give them whatever they want. In a true outward mindset, I look at each person and think to myself “how can I help?”. Sometimes that might be giving information or letting them fail (doing the hard, right over the easy, wrong). Regardless, treating people as people is more individualized and focused on their success as people.
To further learn about the outward mindset you can also read Leadership and Self Deception, Anatomy of Peace, and the Outward Mindset written by the Arbinger Institute.